It’s fairly common for a child visitation agreement to divide up holidays and vacations between each parent. For example, during summer, the child may spend half their summer break with one parent and half with the other. Parents likely rotate holidays as well, so they can both get the chance to have their children in their home for Christmas and Thanksgiving. This visitation schedule allows parents to spend as much time as possible with their kids, and gives kids a quality relationship with each parent.
But there are times when even the most ironclad of custody agreements leaves parents with questions. These issues often crop up around the holidays, which can throw a wrench in the normal schedule. Below is a list of problems related to custody and the holidays that parents often raise, as well as advice that could help you avoid these common holiday child visitation issues.
If you have questions about your child visitation or custody agreement, consult an experienced child custody and visitation attorney at Breeden Law Office. Call us today at (919) 661-4970.
Solutions to Common Holiday Visitation Problems
- My holiday is during the other parent’s weekend. Do I still get to see my child?
Holidays generally take precedence over regular weekend schedules. Normally you may alternate weekends so neither one of you gets two weekends in a row. In this case, you’d get the weekend because it’s a holiday weekend, and you would return to your regular schedule after. - What if I want to take vacation during the other parent’s holiday?
Because holidays are set in stone, they would generally trump a vacation. Try to plan your vacation around the holiday, or you can ask your child’s other parent to switch weekends. You are permitted to rearrange your custody agreement without the court’s help, so long as you can both agree to the terms. - Does the other parent forfeit their right to a holiday weekend if they miss visitation all the time?
Likely the answer is “No.” The child’s other parent does not have to give up their scheduled holiday, even if they have missed their visitation weekends. If you want to alter your child custody agreement based on new information about what happens in the child’s life, contact a child custody attorney. - What if our holidays are on the same days?
If you and your child’s other parent are different religions, this could happen – Thanksgiving may fall on the same day as the beginning of Hanukah, for instance. In this case, you should try to work out an alternative schedule among yourselves. If you can’t reach an agreement, you may want to consult with a child custody attorney about your options.
What to Do If the Other Parent Does Not Show Up for a Scheduled Custody Exchange
Missed custody exchanges are especially stressful around holidays and school breaks. When the other parent does not bring the children for an agreed upon custody swap, it is important to stay calm, protect your rights, and focus on the children’s best interests.
Confirm the Details of the Custody Agreement
Start by reviewing your custody order or written agreement to confirm the exchange time, location, and holiday schedule. Make sure you are relying on the correct provisions and not an informal assumption about the schedule.
Document the Missed Exchange
Keep a clear record of what happened. Note the date, time, and location of the exchange, how long you waited, and any attempts you made to communicate. Save text messages, emails, or parenting app communications showing that you were present and ready for the exchange.
Attempt Reasonable Communication
If the other parent does not arrive, send a brief, calm message asking where they are and confirming that you are available for the exchange. Avoid emotional or accusatory language. Written communication creates a paper trail that may be important later.
Do Not Take Matters Into Your Own Hands
Even if the situation feels unfair, avoid showing up unannounced at the other parent’s home, withholding future visitation, or involving the children in adult conflict. Acting outside the court order can create legal problems for you.
Consider Whether the Missed Exchange Is a One-Time Issue or a Pattern
An isolated missed exchange may be resolved through communication or a makeup visit. Repeated failures to follow the custody schedule may indicate a larger problem that needs to be addressed legally.
Speak With a Child Custody Attorney
If the other parent repeatedly refuses to follow the custody order or withholds the children, an attorney can help you understand your options. These may include filing a motion to enforce the order, seeking contempt of court, or requesting a modification if circumstances have changed.
FAQs About Missed Custody Exchanges
Can I deny the other parent their next visit if they missed this one?
Generally, no. Withholding visitation without a court order can put you in violation of the custody agreement, even if the other parent previously failed to comply.
Should I call the police if the other parent does not show up?
Law enforcement typically does not enforce custody orders unless there is an immediate safety concern. Missed exchanges are usually handled through the family court system rather than as criminal matters.
What if the other parent claims there was a misunderstanding?
This is one reason documentation matters. Clear written records can help establish whether the issue was a genuine mistake or a failure to follow the order.
Can the court order makeup visitation time?
In some cases, courts may order makeup time or adjust the schedule if a parent has wrongfully denied visitation. The outcome depends on the facts and the child’s best interests.
Does a missed exchange affect future custody decisions?
Repeated violations of a custody order can be considered by the court and may impact enforcement actions or future modifications, especially if the behavior interferes with the child’s relationship with the other parent.
What if holidays or travel plans are affected?
Holiday-related violations are taken seriously because they can deprive a parent of limited, meaningful time. Courts often expect parents to follow holiday schedules precisely or to communicate clearly about any unavoidable issues.
How a North Carolina Child Custody Lawyer Can Help
While these are some common problems parents have during the holidays, each case is different and comes with its own set of issues. If you need help with your visitation agreement, talk to an experienced child custody attorney. For over 17 years, attorney Jonathan Breeden has helped parents straighten out the complexities that come with visitation schedule changes during the holidays. If you’d like a consultation of your case, call Breeden Law Office at (919) 661-4970 to schedule an appointment.
