Written by Jonathan Breeden
When you and your spouse separate your lives from one another, you should expect shared matters to be personal and private. When you suspect your spouse is acting suspiciously or hiding things from you, you might consider snooping through their phone or information. However, you should think twice before you invade their privacy — spying on your spouse can impact your divorce and may be considered criminal.
If you are going through a divorce and you think your spouse is hiding something, the best thing to do is be honest with your North Carolina divorce attorney. At Breeden Law Office, we can utilize lawful and transparent means to determine if your spouse is hiding material information. If you believe your spouse is spying on you, tell your lawyer immediately. Contact us at (919) 661-4970 to schedule a consultation.
Spousal spying is a broad term that covers many different activities. The general definition is any action you take to view sensitive data you do not have open access to.
For instance, you may have access to a shared bank account. But you take it a step too far when you install a software monitoring program in order to get passwords to access your spouse’s private bank account.
Other actions that may be considered spousal spying include:
Spousal spying insinuates that you believe the other person is hiding something. That does not mean your suspicions are true. If your spouse uncovers that you have been spying on them when they are doing nothing wrong, this can diminish any trust you two had during the divorce. A reasonable divorce can quickly turn into a contentious one.
Spying may provide you with information that your spouse is lying. However, such information may not be helpful. It may not be admissible in court. If you attempt to use the evidence in court, you have to admit to obtaining it through unethical or even illegal means. This may harm your reputation with the judge.
Not only could spousal spying damage your reputation in your divorce case, it could be considered criminal conduct. You may be found violating the Federal Wiretap Act of 1968 and the Electronic Communications Privacy Act. North Carolina is considered a one-party consent state, which means you can record a conversation in which you are a participant. Recording your spouse’s conversation without their knowledge is illegal.
Many decent or salvageable relationships deteriorate because of spousal spying. Just because you had troubles in your relationship does not mean your divorce is heated. Many couples can act reasonably throughout a divorce. When someone uncovers spousal spying, it can take away whatever amount of tolerance you two had for one another.
When you and your spouse share children, maintaining a polite relationship is even more important. You need to be able to parent together, and spying can make it difficult to achieve a comfortable co-parenting arrangement.
Even when you are confident that ending your marriage is the right thing for you, divorce is a difficult process. Emotionally, you need to grieve the loss of your marriage and the future you anticipated. Financially, you have to re-configure your budget for one income. If the divorce proceedings do not go well, this is another layer of stress.
Spying is more likely to increase your stress than alleviate it. Spying requires active participation to figure out how to spy, to review your findings, and to decide whether they confirm your suspicions. You can quickly become engrossed in the act when your attention should be elsewhere. You may find out information that is hurtful, yet not relevant to your divorce. You could find information relevant to your divorce, but at what cost?
Instead of increasing your stress, talk with your lawyer about your concerns and suspicions. Let an attorney lawfully look for evidence related to the divorce.
It is rarely talked about, but when you divorce a spouse, you often lose close friends. As a couple, you may have had other couples as friends. Those people may pick a side or distance themselves from the situation. Friends that you and your spouse brought into the marriage may only remain in contact with their original friend.
During a divorce, it is vital for you to consider other relationships you find valuable and work to maintain them. When it is uncovered, spousal spying can damage more than your relationship with your spouse. It could damage your friendships or your relationships with the spouse’s family members. Other individuals may lose respect for you, and in extreme cases, cut off ties.
If you are separated from your spouse or in the middle of a divorce, it can be tempting to gain the upper hand by spying. However, not only is spousal spying detrimental to your case, it can be illegal. So to avoid legal issues with evidence you collect and to keep your reputation clean, you should work with an experienced North Carolina divorce attorney. Their advice can save you time, money, and criminal charges.
You can discuss certain matters with your divorce attorney, such as if you really need to hire a private investigator or if there isn’t any cause to invade on your soon-to-be ex’s privacy like that. They can also advise you on what evidence is admissible if you’ve already started snooping. Your divorce lawyer can ensure you don’t cross any lines you will regret that will threaten your future.
If you are tempted to spy on your spouse, or you believe your spouse is spying on you, the best thing for you to do is contact your divorce attorney. Do not take matters into your own hands – this could harm your divorce proceedings. To speak with an experienced lawyer, reach out to Jonathan Breeden. With years of guiding clients through complicated divorce matters, he is prepared to help you. To schedule a case consultation, contact Breeden Law Office at (919) 661-4970.