When Is Divorce a Good Idea?

Written by Jonathan Breeden

July 20, 2022

It’s common for couples in a struggling marriage to contemplate divorce. Deciding to divorce is never simple, especially when there are children involved.

Learn about circumstances in which divorce is a good idea and strategies to make ending your marriage less stressful.


Discovering that your spouse cheated on you – or is currently having an affair – is a leading cause of divorce. It is nearly impossible to regain the trust of someone who intentionally broke their marriage vows.

Some married couples survive infidelity through counseling. If you’ve tried couples therapy with a mental health professional or faith leader and the marriage is still broken, it might be time to consider divorce.

Abuse or Domestic Violence

Any type of relationship abuse – physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal – is unacceptable. Although some abusive partners successfully change their behavior patterns, it is not the typical outcome.

Children are often the target of an abusive partner’s rage but are powerless to stop it. Rather than remaining in a cycle of abuse, take the necessary steps to get to a safe place and end the marriage.

Financial Deceit

Money issues are a common source of irritation in most marriages. However, hiding assets, gambling, or engaging in risky financial activities with joint bank accounts can be a breaking point in a marriage.

Substance Abuse

Alcoholism and drug addiction can tear a marriage apart. An addict’s relationship with their drug of choice is more potent than their commitment to you or your marriage. There is no cure for substance abuse, only treatment. If your spouse refuses to admit dependency on drugs or alcohol, it might be better to end the relationship.

Untreated Mental Illness

Millions of people find help for mental illness through counseling, medication, and other healthy choices. When they refuse medical assistance and treatment, it takes a heavy toll on a marriage. A diagnosed but untreated mental disorder is often the final straw.

Irreconcilable Differences

Some marriages just don’t work, despite a couple’s best efforts. You can blame it on getting married too young, having different goals, or simply a lack of willingness to make the marriage better.

Irreconcilable differences are the default reason for many divorces in North Carolina.

Toxic Environment & Unhealthy Relationship Modeling

Unhappy couples with children often remain married for their kids’ sake. They believe that two parents are better than one and that children might suffer from the emotional stress of divorce.

According to Fatherly magazine, remaining in an unhappy and hostile relationship could be more damaging to your kids than divorce. Constant bickering, arguments, or stony silence are toxic for everyone.

You’re also denying your kids the chance to see a healthy relationship. Being a divorced but happier parent is a better role model than staying in an unhealthy or violent marriage.

How a Divorce Attorney Can Reduce Your Stress

However unhappy or unsatisfactory your marriage was, the idea of venturing into separation and divorce is unfamiliar and highly stressful for many individuals. For the lower income earning spouse or a spouse who sacrificed career and income to support home and family, divorce brings fears of financial hardship or a lower quality of living.

Trying to navigate a divorce on your own could leave you vulnerable. You’ve contributed to your marriage in many ways. You’re entitled to a fair and equitable settlement, child custody, child support, and in many cases, spousal support.

An experienced North Carolina divorce lawyer can help alleviate your fears and reduce your stress.

Fair Division of Marital Property

A divorce attorney understands how to use state laws to protect you legally and financially. North Carolina is an equitable distribution state for all marital assets, including the family home, cars, bank accounts, stocks, and property.

Favorable Child Custody Arrangements

North Carolina recognizes both legal and physical custody. The parent with primary physical custody is entitled to child support by the other party.

Protective Orders

Individuals filing for divorce because of domestic abuse should talk to an attorney about protective orders. The court can order your spouse to leave the family home and prohibit contacting you.

Talk to a North Carolina Divorce Lawyer Today

Sometimes divorce is a good idea. If you’re considering making the choice to end your marriage, call Breeden Law Office for an initial consultation to learn more about your rights and options. The best way to handle the ramifications of divorce is to work with an understanding and experienced attorney.

Call (919) 661-4970 or use our online form.


Divorce In North Carolina: What You Need To Know

A book by Jonathan Breeden