Not every divorce in North Carolina needs to be a battle. There are some circumstances when couples might agree that their marriage should end. For these families, a collaborative divorce may be their best option. Collaborative divorces allow couples, along with their divorce attorneys, to meet and determine the terms of the divorce together. Both sides may have to compromise and they don’t have to be happy about the situation, but they can leave the table with a better outcome than they might get in a contested divorce.
If you and your spouse want to pursue a peaceful, cooperative divorce, you may want to speak to a North Carolina divorce lawyer. At Breeden Law Office, attorney Jonathan Breeden can help you make important decisions while maintaining a respectful collaboration. To schedule an initial case consultation, contact us today at (919) 661-4970.
Why Choose Collaborative Divorce?
Deciding to divorce is not easy, and many couples are especially intimidated by the idea of a judge who doesn’t know them making important decisions about their family. Many couples would rather have their own say, which is why they decide to work together through collaborative divorce.
Collaborative Divorce Gives You More Freedom in the Process
Collaborative divorce allows couples to:
- Come to an agreement on terms such as child support, custody, asset division
- Speak openly without fear of retaliation
- Maintain a respectful relationship
- Avoid lengthy, expensive litigation
- Reach an agreement that satisfies both parties
The couple each has their own attorney present during collaboration, which helps keep them on track and ensures they cover all the important decisions and aspects they need to consider before finalizing their divorce. If additional assistance is needed, the attorneys can enlist the services of professionals such as financial experts or child psychologists, who can provide an opinion on their situation and suggest ways to reach a decision.
What if Collaborative Divorce Doesn’t Work?
Getting divorced is emotional, and sitting around trying to divide your assets and life can be challenging, no matter how much help you get. Couples can veer off track, or get into arguments and have a hard time reaching a resolution. For a collaborative divorce to work, however, the couple must be committed to the idea of working together until all decisions are made.
Collaborative divorce will not work if:
- A couple is unable to make all decisions together. If you and your ex cannot resolve even one aspect and refuse to back down, you may need to go to court.
- Either party is not completely honest about their assets. You must be ready and willing to disclose all finances, whether your spouse knows about them or not. If either party is dishonest, they could put the collaborative agreement in jeopardy.
As part of a collaborative divorce, both parties and their attorneys must sign a statement saying that the attorneys will withdraw from the case if the couple cannot reach an agreement.
How to Start the Collaborative Divorce Process
Once you and your soon-to-be-ex have decided that you both want a collaborative divorce, you need to make a commitment to the process. These divorces typically occur outside of the normal court process, so you both need to be comfortable with the idea that you will not be appearing before a judge. Once you have both agreed to a collaborative divorce, you can begin the process.
1. Hire a Collaborative Divorce Lawyer
To begin, each spouse should hire an attorney trained in collaborative law. These attorneys are not adversaries; instead, they serve as guides who protect their client’s interests while helping move the process forward. After both sides have secured counsel, each spouse will have an initial private meeting with their attorney to talk about goals, concerns, priorities, and any issues that may arise during negotiations.
2. Sign the Participation Agreement
All parties meet together in what is often called a “four-way meeting.” During this meeting, you and your spouse, along with your attorneys, sign a participation agreement that outlines the rules of the collaborative divorce. This document typically emphasizes honesty, transparency, respectful communication, and a shared intention to stay out of court.
3. Begin Settlement Meetings
The collaborative meetings begin once the agreement is signed. These sessions are structured but flexible, allowing couples to work through each issue at a pace that feels manageable. Before each meeting, you may be asked to gather documents such as financial records, property valuations, budgets, or information relevant to children and parenting plans. The more organized you are before starting these discussions, the more productive each session will be.
If needed, your attorneys may recommend bringing in neutral professionals to assist with specific topics. A financial specialist can help create budgets or evaluate marital assets, while a child specialist can offer insight into what parenting arrangements may best support your children. These professionals are not there to choose sides; instead, they offer guidance so both spouses can make informed decisions.
Throughout the process, both spouses should remain open-minded and willing to explore creative solutions. Collaborative divorce allows couples to structure their outcome in ways a court may not be able to. Once every issue is resolved, your attorneys will draft the final agreement and ensure it complies with North Carolina law. After everything is signed, it can be submitted to the court for approval without the need for a contested hearing.
Frequently Asked Questions About Collaborative Divorce in North Carolina
How long does a collaborative divorce usually take?
Although every case is different, many collaborative divorces are resolved in a few months. In North Carolina, you need to wait at least one year before you can start your divorce, but once you have met that requirement, the timeline depends on how frequently the couple can meet and how quickly they provide necessary information. Because the process avoids court scheduling delays, it is often significantly faster than litigation.
Is collaborative divorce cheaper than going to court?
In many cases, yes. While both spouses must still hire attorneys, avoiding contested hearings, formal discovery, and lengthy court battles typically reduces overall costs. The ability to resolve issues efficiently in joint meetings often leads to meaningful savings.
Can we still use other professionals during the process?
Yes. Collaborative divorce often involves neutral specialists such as financial planners, appraisers, mental health professionals, or child development experts. Their role is to provide objective guidance that helps the couple reach well-informed decisions.
Do we need to be on perfect terms for collaborative divorce to work?
No. Many couples choose collaborative divorce even if communication is strained. As long as both spouses are willing to participate respectfully and negotiate in good faith, the process can still succeed. The attorneys help manage tense moments and keep discussions productive.
What happens if one spouse changes their mind during the process?
If either spouse decides they no longer want to participate in collaborative divorce, the process must end. Both collaborative attorneys must withdraw from the case, and each spouse will need to hire new counsel if they choose to move forward through litigation.
Is a collaborative divorce agreement legally binding?
Yes. Once both parties reach a full agreement, the attorneys draft the final documents and file them with the court. When approved by a judge, the terms become legally enforceable, just like orders entered after contested litigation.
Can we use collaborative divorce if we have children?
Absolutely. Collaborative divorce can be particularly beneficial for parents. It allows them to create parenting plans tailored to their children’s needs, rather than relying on standard court-ordered arrangements. Parents can also address communication styles, holiday schedules, and long-term planning.
Will everything we discuss remain private?
Yes. Collaborative divorce is conducted outside the public court system. The meetings, discussions, and negotiations occur privately and confidentially. Only the final agreement becomes part of the public record.
What if I’m worried about my spouse hiding financial information?
The process requires full disclosure from both parties. While collaborative divorce relies on trust, attorneys and financial experts are trained to identify missing or inconsistent information. If dishonesty becomes an issue, the process must end, and other legal avenues may be necessary.
Can collaborative divorce work if we own a business together?
Yes. Many couples with shared businesses choose collaborative divorce because it allows for customized solutions that protect the business’s value. Neutral financial specialists can help evaluate the company and create arrangements that benefit both spouses.
Talk to a North Carolina Lawyer About Your Divorce Options
Collaborative divorce is something all couples should consider. It can help you reach a quicker decision and enjoy a civil relationship with your ex, it can minimize the emotional impact on your family, and it can be more cost-effective while allowing you to avoid spending long hours in a courtroom.
At Breeden Law Office, we know that divorce is not an easy situation to deal with. But with the help of attorney Jonathan Breeden, you can reach a satisfying end result while keeping a calm head. Once you can finalize your agreement, you will be able to move on and start a new life.
Breeden Law Office has helped couples throughout Wake, Harnett, and Johnston counties with their family law needs. To schedule a time to talk about your case, contact us at (919) 661-4970.
