When you are a parent and decide to get divorced, your life suddenly becomes much more difficult. Deciding when and how to talk to your children about the situation can be challenging, so make sure to approach the discussion in a way that will benefit everyone involved.
As an individual and mother or father, you have a tough road ahead of you. You must separate your personal life and finances from your spouse. Instead of being able to walk away completely, however, you must learn how to co-parent. This necessitates talking to your kids about divorce.
If you are interested in moving forward with a divorce, you need to speak with an attorney. At Breeden Law Office, we know about the North Carolina divorce law that applies to your case, and we are here to guide you through this process with compassion. We want to help you achieve a fair resolution to your divorce while minimizing the impact it has on your children. To schedule a consultation of your case, contact us today at (919) 661-4970.
It is best for you and your spouse to have a plan before you talk with your children, though this is not always possible. If you or your spouse have not yet left the home, you should know when the separation is going to begin, and how it is going to work. If you or your spouse will move out, how will the children stay connected to the parent living outside the family home? Have the practicalities of the separation worked out before you tell your children what is going to happen. They will have questions, and it is best if you have at least some of the answers.
Are you and your spouse considering talking to your kids about divorce? If so, you should speak with your children together, unless you are concerned about the children’s safety around the other parent. In this situation, you need to be deliberate about scheduling a time. If you have multiple children with busy lives, this can be difficult. Try to pick a time on the weekend when everyone will be home.
Scheduling a time also ensures you do not put off the conversation. This is a tough talk to have with your son(s) and/or daughter(s), but there will be no perfect time to tell them. As soon as you and your spouse know you want a divorce, prepare to sit down with your children.
When you are telling young children about divorce, you should expect their concerns to center around themselves. For you, the divorce is a complex legal and emotional process between two adults. For your children, it boils down to how it affects them and their daily lives. You may receive seemingly simple questions like “who will I live with,” or “do I have to move?” These answers to these questions may be obvious to you, yet they will not be to a five-year-old.
In addition to expecting basic questions, anticipate young children not understanding what is happening. For your young children, one discussion will not be enough. Expect to have multiple brief conversations and to answer questions repeatedly.
Every child is unique in dealing with divorce and separation, yet you can expect there to be some changes in their moods and behavior. If you plan on talking to your kids about divorce, you can expect them to feel a wide range of emotions after your initial discussion. Some children act out and behave inappropriately. You may not be able to stop these negative feelings and behaviors, but you can do your best to help your child through this difficult situation.
There are a few things you can say to ease your children’s distress and help them cope with this change, including:
If your child is not taking the divorce well and is experiencing severe emotions, consider finding them a new outlet. One or all of your children may benefit from seeing a counselor. This can give them a safe place to express themselves and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
When you are going through a divorce and children are involved, the stress can feel insurmountable. Every day you are trying to keep up a normal routine for your children, listen to them, pay attention, and show them they are loved.
While it is essential that you learn the best ways to talk with your children about the divorce, it is also important that you have someone to talk to about what you are going through. None of your children can be your confidante or sounding board. Lean on your friends and family during this time. If you do not have a close and supportive network, consider going to a counselor or joining a local support group for divorced parents. Whether you are a mother or a father, you are going to need other adults’ help during this time.
North Carolina divorce lawyer Jonathan Breeden understands the emotional complexities of a divorce involving children. He also knows that talking to your kids about divorce can be a daunting process. He is here to guide you through the divorce process in a way that is best for both you and your kids. He knows that your children are the most important aspect of your life, and he will fight for you and your children to have the safe, happy, and healthy future you deserve. Jonathan Breeden blends compassionate and aggressive advocacy for people in the communities of Raleigh, Clayton, Garner, Smithfield, and Angier.
Call Breeden Law Office today:Call (919) 661-4970